Normally I pop out of bed bright and chipper on Monday mornings. I enjoy the freshness and new beginnings that Monday mornings offer. I can restart after a week of procrastinated projects and broken diet promises. I know that God’s mercies are new every morning….but there is something really liberating for me on Monday mornings. Call me a freak, but I LOVE MONDAYS!

Except today. I lay awake from 4:30 am on, trying hopelessly to get back to sleep. It was a powerful weekend in the Lord. I am still buzzing with the presence of God at our Encounter Retreat and excited about what He is doing in our church. Mental gymnastics all hours of the night….Oh if I could just turn this into prayer…..5:05 am….I vainly imagine that there is still time for more sleep until the 7am drop-dead-have-to-crawl-out-of-bed-and-make-school–lunches-time. 5:40 am…cartwheels, 6:10 am, summersaults, ugh. I only have 50 minutes left. I realize now what I really knew all along. Going back to sleep is a total joke.   Just pray. “Get up” says God.   “It is way too cold” replies my flesh. Wrestle, tumble, the gymnasium of my mind is starting to smell like sweaty bodies. Yuck. 7:20 a.m. I am long past “go” time.

How fast can I feed these kids, pack the lunches and drive to school? God. Yes. I say yes to you at 8:05 when the last kid is dropped off. Will I hang on until then? Will God? Does God ever get impatient? What would He have said to me had I been obedient to his 5:05am wakeup call? I know that God is love and I know that love is patient, so I conclude the answer to my question. God is patient. I suddenly remember the memory verse that 8 year old Isaac prophesied over our class yesterday. The fruits of the Spirit one.   I learn more in Kids’ Church than anyone.

8:05. I love you too, have a wonderful day sweetie. Good bye Remy. Hello God. I come to the realization that for the past 36 hours, the King of the Universe has been waiting for my response to the message I preached not 48 hours prior. Conviction. It only stings for a second. Repentance. Oh, but His unmistakable gentleness. Return you Prod-i- Gal, I am waiting with open arms. Let me help you get freedom from that choke-hold the devil has had you in for the past 37 years.

This deep wounding and the accompanying shame. I have been praying the prayer of Paul (Ephesians 1:17) for revelation of the hope of my calling in Him. What is God inviting me into today? It comes as illumination of an area of my life that I have been too ashamed and broken to explore.   Or maybe, in God’s perfecting timing, He deems me ready to go into a new level of healing with Him. Yes. That’s it.

“It is time sweetie”. The Gentleman of the Universe whispers ever-so-kindly. He beckons me to the prayer room. I respond in sheer obedience because I feel His grace all over this.   Even though I have a mountain of responsibilities looming on this Monday morning, I cannot possibly go to work today. The world can definitely wait. The Spirit of Understanding is guiding me to my day of liberty and there is nothing that will stop me from responding to Him.

I step into the prayer room and can tangibly feel him leading me into the anointing of His presence. So sweet. He is so very gentle and kind (more fruit of the Holy Spirit, thanks for the reminder, Isaac). He bathes me in His beauty, His love and goodness. Squeals of delight from the girls as they come up for air and realize I have skipped work to come and play.   We soak, we worship, and we petition the court of heaven for the brother-to-be.

Monday morning confessions. So very good for the soul.   God’s amazing grace is dispensed by my faithful prayer warrior best friends who listen intently to my baring of the deepest, darkest hidden places of my soul. The terrorist sleeper cell is exposed.   I feel HIM walking me through this with calm and peace and surprising ease. Years of blame and shame and filth, washed by the sacrifice of Jesus’ brokenness. Just like that. Victory. The enemy is defeated. So profound the healing. So simple and beautiful and right. Freedom. God must like Monday mornings too!

Kathy Sawdy