Even as I’ve asked God for a greater measure of courage, the tests come, ongoing insomnia being one of the hardest. My first response is to complain: “God, not another night of shredding my bedcovers! I’m supposed to sleep and rest. Why, why, why? How do you expect me to do kingdom work unless I can sleep?” There’s not even a glimmer of courage in these laments. I act as if my Father’s shining a spot light into my eyeballs like a terrorist. I forget that He is Love, love is kind and love encourages the weak.

I love books and since God always knows what I need, He directed me to a book, The Red Badge of Courage. We may vaguely remember it from American lit classes. I found my old copy almost immediately on a bookshelf. It’s inscribed with my maiden name so it’s almost a collectible. The pages are yellow and brittle. I need glasses to read the microscopic print.

The story is a classic quest for courage. The hero Henry Fleming is a young, untried Union soldier who encounters an enemy battalion in the Civil War – and runs away in fear. Filled with guilt and shame, he then longs to be wounded, to bear “a red badge of courage” as a sign of his bravery. Most of the story deals with Henry trying to hide his cowardice from his regiment. In the end he carries his regiment’s flag into the final battle and finds peace. In rereading the story, it’s very clear that Henry is fighting two battles. There’s the terrifying physical battle against the unseen ‘feds in the trees. But there’s a greater battle paralyzing Henry’s heart as he tries to justify, make sense of and vindicate his action. His introspection is an accusing voice constantly reproaching and condemning him, filling him with excuses and glutting his pride that he is after all superior to his fellow soldiers and above their opinions.

We know that hateful, haranguing voice of the enemy. It snickers the same lies: we’re useless, cowardly, fearful and anxious. Sooner or later we’ll be exposed to everyone. Or it whispers that we’re above the fray, more than mere men and justified in all the evil we give in to. Then, completely beat up with guilt and shame, like young Henry we want “a red badge of courage “ to make our souls well again. The voice spoke in the Garden to our first parents and we their offspring have been fearful, lacking in courage ever since. We’ve tried to justify the Lies in our hearts ever since as well. After the fall the eternal battle for man’s heart unfolded. The LORD of Hosts would become The Lamb That Was Slain for mankind’s salvation and overcome.

The Lord Jesus Christ’s suffering on the cross and shedding of blood is the greatest “red badge of courage” ever known. His heart was wounded and pierced for all sin and for every sinner, be he a coward or a hero. Jesus knew every temptation and fear we have, warning the disciples,
Watch and pray lest you fall into temptation. The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak. Matt 26:41

Facing his own agony on the cross Jesus took his closest friends with him to pray. He was not without fear, even to sweating blood. Still, he prayed,
If this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done. Matt 26:42

Well yes, you might argue, but that was Jesus, not me. How can I have that kind of supernatural courage? It comes through obedience. As Jesus was obedient to His Father, trusting in the Father’s will, the heart of God opened up to the Son, pouring in divine love and extraordinary courage. Obedience is the key. If Henry had obeyed his superior officers to fight, he might have discovered that he really was very brave. If Adam and Eve had obeyed God, they surely would have found courage to tell the Serpent “No Way! Depart from us.” If we heed the voice of the Holy Spirit, trust God’s will and obey Jesus’ commandments to love one another, His perfect love will cast out fear and make us brave.

Jesus told his disciples over and over, “Do not fear. I am with you always. I’ve overcome the world. Don’t let your heart be troubled.” Why would Jesus say that and not provide? For here’s the amazing promise. When Jesus speaks peace, he gives peace. When he speaks love, he gives love. When he speaks life, he gives life. So when the Lord says, “Don’t be afraid, dear, I’m right here, “ take heart and believe Him. His presence is courage.

When danger comes and you want to bolt, look to the cross of Christ and find courage where his heart bled. When the enemy directs a cannon ball into your mind, put on Christ’s mind instead. Be obedient to Christ, resist the enemy and he will flee. Speak the name of Jesus, most majestic, magnificent, heroic Redeemer – and watch hell’s cowardly minions scatter.
Friede