Yesterday might have been the first one.

I was outside  a McCall shop admiring  the beautiful gardening goodies and ran into an acquaintance I’ve known cordially for years. We chatted for a bit, and then mindful of healthy protocols, I masked up. She waved me off. “Don’t bother. We’re outside.” Then she added with conviction, “ You’ve gotten your second shot, right?” Oops.  No, I responded. I haven’t. Not going to. Bigger Oops! The conversation became frigid   and awkward very quickly as she pointedly told me the rules for entering inside the store.  My attempts to keep it friendly weren’t successful and when I left, the whole bizarre incident made me realize that I’d  become a non vaccinating pariah. The woman did not know my reasons for not vaxxing and I didn’t tell her. It’s between me and God.

Truthfully, I left  angry and decided not to do business there in the future. I’d conjured  up good  reasons for staying angry, venting to my husband.   How in the world is it ok to ask another person about their vaccination decisions when HIPPA safeguards the privacy of health information? In flu seasons would it have been conceivable to ask whether we’d gotten a flu shot before we entered an establishment? Or diptheria immunization? Or mumps?  Of course not.  We wouldn’t have felt anyone but our doctors had a right to such info. How that has  changed!  Today people have no compunction about asking about and sharing their personal vaccination decisions. It’s the crazy, acceptable norm to do so and the underpinning of social interactions very often through intimidation, even within families.  We distance socially  and then invade the most precious space of all – conscience.

It was in my conscience  that the Lord dealt with my self righteous anger. Soren Kierkegard calls it the place where the Eye of God never ceases to see me  and where I become fully aware of His loving, inescapable “seeing.”  He alone knows what is in my heart, especially when yesterday I felt judged and rejected  by a “friend.”  I entertained a lot of old, unredeemed thoughts. Well, I’ll just show her/him/them a thing or two!  I’ll stomp my foot and slam the door on the way out.

It’s not the Christian response. Jesus, who was exponentially more misjudged, abused, abandoned and condemned as a  pariah than I’ll ever be, prayed on  that tortuous cross,  “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” As His disciples, we are called to  love and forgive our enemies, however they show up.   We’re asked to preach the Gospel to the lost and deceived, especially in our own local Samaria.  How will my refusing to encounter this woman in her business  witness  to  Christ’s love and salvation message?  How will hanging on to anger and pride bless the other person with hope for tomorrow? Perhaps civil discourse in a very uncivil setting is exactly how the Lord will pierce our hearts with His grace,  His mercy and His love. Perhaps the next time I can share the reasons for my choice. We may not agree, but it’s a starting point for loving one another.  God will do the rest.

This won’t be an isolated incident as the controversies over vaccination ramp up all over the world and it demands that we give account. With the Lord’s help, I want to be ready the next time for a divine  encounter through Him,  not  participate in a confrontation sanctioned by the devil.