From The Sheep Pen

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God; all things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.” John 1:1-3

Two very famous men have died within weeks of one another. I did not know either of them except by reputation, but am deeply moved by their passing. Christian Evangelist Billy Graham died at age 99 in North Carolina on February 21. The Reverend Graham conducted hundreds of evangelical campaigns from 1947 to 2005 in almost 2 hundred countries world wide wherein millions of people answered his call to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. He counseled Presidents in the last and into the 21st century and was called America’s Pastor.

Theoretical physicist Dr. Stephen Hawking passed away on March 14 in Cambridge, England. Hawking has been called a “visionary physicist” who probed the mysteries of how the universe began. In mental brilliance he’s compared with and second only to Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton. Hawking miraculously also lived with ALS for 50 of his 76 years, eventually losing all his ability to move except for eye movements and one finger. His courage in the face of such a disability is remarkable. It is poetically said that he traveled the cosmos in a wheelchair.

Two men died and left very different legacies.

Dr. Hawking’s legacy is in the rarified realm of quantum physics, cosmology, gravity and black holes, principles I can’t pretend to grasp. He authored “A Brief History of Everything” which brought him and his ideas into the popular culture. Like Einstein he tried to find a “universal, unified theory of everything” which would finally solve theoretical discrepancies about the universe. What I do understand is Hawking’s own words which reveal his heart’s attitude more than his gifted mind. That humanistic legacy rejects anything outside of empirical science. Hawking was an avowed atheist who did not believe in God or in any kind of afterlife. He believed that “We are each free to believe what we want and it is my view that the simplest explanation is there is no God. ” “No one created the universe and no one directs our fate.” Hawking’s view of the universe is ultimately hopeless. He believed in the existence of many universes and in his recent final work, curiously titled “A Smooth Exit From Eternal Inflation” he predicted the darkened end of our universe. In some of the most depressing, post modern existentialist words ever expressed, The Washington Post wrote Hawking believed that “when he died his mind would go to the same place as the Siri app on that iPhone you dropped in the bathtub. Nowhere. Nothing. He would just be over.” For once I hope WAPO is making this up. Seriously, Siri??

Billy Graham also left a legacy. He passed on the legacy which he had himself received – the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ – whereby men are saved by grace to eternal life. In Billy Graham’s Biblical world view the Word of God created the universe and God keeps it through both darkness and light. God said it. That is enough. We are all sinners, scientists included, in need of God’s loving mercy through relationship with Christ Jesus. His legacy brought a planet full of hungry, dying souls to the kingdom of God. His legacy is the very thing which Dr. Hawking sought and could not find – the unified answer to life’s origins, meaning and purpose. It is neither theory nor principle but a person, the Person of Jesus.

…For in Him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities. All things were created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Col 4:16-17

Sadly, the farther Hawking searched the skies, the closer the truth was to him -– as close as his own heartbeat in his wheel chair. All he had to do was turn on the television and listen to Billy Graham’s message.

Two men died, as all men eventually have to die, and stood alone before God to answer for every secret thought and deed. O, that the brilliant scientist known on earth as Stephen Hawking finally took into his heart the Gospel of Jesus preached by Dr. Graham. I pray that at the end, he found Jesus and said “Yes.”

Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart. Psalm 119:2

God loves because His nature is love. He doesn’t love in the abstract as do philosophers their ideas, dreamers their dreams and perhaps even theologians their theology. The God of the Bible loves us, his human creations, in wondrous, incomprehensible relationship with Himself. Unless we understand this first principle of God’s character and divine love, we really can’t grasp the glorious reason behind Jesus’ coming to earth as described by John,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

John shows the way to our redemption through confession of faith in Jesus. But we cannot forget that it is God’s love for fallen mankind that sent His “one and only Son” to redeem us from sin. His love for us because of Jesus, in Jesus, through Jesus and for Jesus can’t be understood. It can only be accepted. What does God then require in return? What does He want from us? Is it the law or good works? Is it sacrifice or religious practices? A lawyer asked Jesus about this. What is the greatest commandment? Which one of the Law of Moses is supreme? (Tell me, Jesus and I’ll keep it.) Jesus answered him,

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deuteronomy 6:5

Jesus turns the question of law toward the greatest commandment: to love God wholeheartedly. Anything less than loving God with a whole, entire, undivided, fully committed, completely devoted, uncompromised heart is… incomplete. Jesus seems to remind the lawyer – and us – that our love affair with the Father has to be 100% because that is what God asks for. From Genesis to Revelation, God repeats the same message. Love with all your heart and souls and mind and strength. Jesus enlarges the command to include loving our neighbors as ourselves.

How is it even possible to love like that? I can’t seem to get through any particular day in such a rarified state. My heart turns to all kinds of distractions and attractions which are not at all spiritual. My daily love of God seems to whither away the moment I step into the life in front of me. On my best day, I do love God 100% – for about 30 minutes on mornings when I actually spend time alone with God. Is there any one at all who lives out Deuteronomy 6:5? I find it impossible, so then I ask, “Why does God command something so far beyond my spiritual ability?” It is this. God Himself initiates the love toward us. He loves us in the beginning and then invites us to love in return. We are reborn in Christ to love.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. John 4:7-8

As we slowly devote our hearts to Christ, He continues to pour love into us through the Holy Spirit. The exchange continues until at some point our wayward hearts become whole and uncompromised. It is through us reborn in Jesus that God, who is love, fulfills His own requirement.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

I’ve had my head in the clouds! For months the winter cloud formations have been spectacular. Every morning I attempt to write an apt description of the cloud covers but am stymied. Sometimes when the clouds move over the valley, the sky seems too small to contain them and so they overflow until impaled on craggy mountain peaks. Sometimes they mass together as if in a giant mixing bowl before another storm approaches. Constantly in motion, shifting and shaping, they’re filled with light and shadow, sometimes dark as lead, other times luminescent as a string of pearls. Clouds tug at our souls to look up into the heavens beyond, seeking things of the spirit for which there are no words.

As children we once imagined shapes and images forming in summer clouds. Listen to a young child exclaim excitedly, “There’s a whale and a boat. Look! That one’s got a nose like my Opa. And that one? It’s a castle with a long staircase and a duck.” Poets use metaphors and similes to write. A cloud is like… (fill in the blank) Often as the clouds roll slowly from east to west or north to south, I’m reminded of flocks of sheep pastured in the sky, breaking free to roam. I see colors (grey, white, darkening, filtered) and shapes (puffy, fluffy, soft), changing second. But then at some point, I’m frustrated because words fail to capture the full magnificent sight above my head. It’s like cupping sea water or wind in my hands.

Certainly clouds have size, shape, texture and color. Scientists might describe altitude, gases, volume, atmospheric conditions. Google “clouds” and an overload of information pops up in five seconds. However, Information doesn’t make me catch my breath on a cloud filled morning. Facts and figures do not fill me awe.

And so I wonder. If my very best attempts with words can’t do poetic justice to earth’s clouds on a winter day, what will I be able to say when finally I stand in the presence of the Creator of the universe ? When Jesus returns at the end of this age, the Bible says
“At that time people will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. Mark 13:26

Jesus promises we will recognize Him by this sign, in “clouds and glory.” I am speechless already. Then, when we stand before the One called Messiah, King of Glory, Lord of Hosts, Almighty God, all language as we know it may cease because no human words will suffice. Every tongue will fail before the perfect Word. Doesn’t that make one tremble in awe and spectacular dread? I can’t wait to find out.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
He will watch over your life; Psalm 121:7

I’ve been gone for a while. I’ve taken a lengthy break from writing to seek what the Lord would have of me. Is it to continue this church blog or is it to write something entirely different? I wish I had a definitive answer. The Lord didn’t answer me in a dream. I had no Word saying either Nay or Yay. Instead, He gently reminded me to trust Him in all things, especially in my heart’s desires.

I’ve also been gone on vacation. Dan and I flew to Florida for beautiful sunshine, 80 degree weather, palm breezes around the pool and the beach. I’ve gotten my ocean fix, whether it is the Oregon Coast, New York shoreline or now Florida. Previously, I’ve never wanted to go to Florida because only “old people” vacationed there. Ahem and note to self: Guess what. You’ve arrived and qualify!

We rented a car and explored central Florida around Orlando from Tampa to St. Augustine, putting on 1,000 miles during the trip. Because it was Presidents’ Day Weekend – and the start of Florida’s infamous spring vacations – the congestion and traffic were mind numbing, like the day we crawled along 75 miles of bumper to bumper traffic to the Gulf coast beach areas. I’ll never complain about Boise traffic again – well, until I do. Despite the snarled highways and aggressive drivers, we had no accidents, no fender benders or bumps on the road. Despite not being familiar with Florida, we didn’t get lost or run out of gas. In all, we were kept safe. The operative word to me is kept. God’s grace protected us.

In our lifetime together Dan and I have literally traveled by car enough miles to circumvent the globe several times and in all those miles we’ve been almost accident free. That is amazing to me! How is that even possible? Almost every day don’t we strap ourselves into a 3,500 pound steel box on wheels, race alongside behemoth sized trucks at high speed in all kinds of weather and never give it a thought? We somehow trust that the car and good sense will get us safely to our destination. We board giant airplanes, hang in the stratosphere to cruise at 35,000 feet altitude, trusting strangers in the cockpit to safely navigate both air and land. We blindly trust cars and planes and those who pilot them when so much can – and often does go wrong. Yet, we balk at trusting a loving God with Whom everything can and does go 100% the right way, according to His will.

Like the psalmist, I believe that only the God keeps us from harm and protects every step as we travel on. Trusting anyone or anything less than the Name of the Lord is foolish. I have seen this in my personal circumstances. When I trust God above all else in the most difficult times, He protects just like He promises.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7

Today technology wants our unquestioning reliance and trust, but like horses and chariots, its promises are unpredictable. God is faithful to every promise in His Word. Today whom will you trust? At the cross roads will it be iron and steel? Will it be a person at the helm of your life? Or will you trust the One who actually keeps His Word and keeps you from all harm?

…that He gave His only begotten Son… John 3:16

I’ve watched quite a few Hallmark movies recently. Mostly they’re as light and fluffy as marshmallow cream but they help lull me to sleep more easily. I’ve even recorded some so while hubby is glued to football in the den, I put on my jammies, have a cup of tea and unwind with a movie. The plots follow along predictably, the settings could be painted by Thomas Kinkaid while the main characters seem interchangeable from one movie to another. I’m really not expecting Dickens or holiday goof ball Clark Griswold when I turn to one of these.

The “movies and mysteries” include every holiday theme even remotely related to Christmas. Surely there’s one called “The Christmas Gift”, no doubt set in a “snow globe” town ablaze with lights strung on every roof , store front and quaint town square gazebo. Children’s presents are piled knee high under the most gorgeous Tannenbaums on the planet. According to Hallmark, the “Christmas gift” is an elusive, magical spirit of Christmas which brings families together, livens up dormant romances and fills the atmosphere with lots of caroling good cheer. It the holly and the ivy – and everything in between except the only true Christmas Gift – Jesus. In fact, in every movie I’ve seen, Jesus is glaringly absent from the “spirit of Christmas.” Is this accidental? Or not? If deliberate, it ‘s unsettling.

Note to Hallmark folks: There is no spirit of Christmas except the Holy Spirit of Jesus. There is no Christmas magic. Jesus’ historical birth 2,000 years ago is the only reason for Christmas. Jesus was born in an animal stall to a poor young virgin and her betrothed. The night was dark and Jesus’ parents had neither family nor friends to help them with the birth. There was no snow falling in Bethlehem, no sleigh bells tinkling, no fir trees or wintry fantasy land. However, there was mystery and there was wonder. Ancient prophecies about the Messiah were being fulfilled; amazed shepherds came out of their fields to worship a new born Child while in the heavens angelic music resounded. No artificial lights blinked on and off; instead, unearthly glory shone all around that manger and the glory was Jesus. There were no presents for the baby, for He was God’s Gift to mankind.

The Apostle John states it simply and powerfully:

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life John 3:16

God gave men the Christmas Gift because He loves us. Christ incarnated as a baby on earth, as the Son of Man, is our salvation gift – if we believe in Him. The Christmas Gift is Christ born so that we would not die, but have eternal life. It doesn’t get much simpler or clearer than John 3:16.

And so, my prayer for Christmas is, “Lord, may we honor you in Your Spirit and Truth. Christmas is your birthday – and nothing can take away the glory due to your Name.”
Anything else is not my Christmas, despite the pretty packaging.

My daughter-in-law is one of those people who loves all the Christmas music. She plays it in her home and in the car constantly because she gets great joy from listening to it. However, by this time in the season, I grouse, “Please, stop with the sleigh bell ringing noise pollution already.”

From the pre dawn of Christmas shopping season snapping at the heels of Halloween, holiday music is everywhere in the air, in mall shops and on radio stations. It is inescapable, like invisible telemarketers. Frosty, Rudolph and Alvin and the Chipmunks have equal air time with Angels, Bethlehem and Jesus. It is an unruly choir of the sublime and the ridiculous. Lest I come across as a total carol curmudgeon, I do like some of the Christmas carols/music some of the time but the operative word there is some. However, the ceaseless season for “Fa La La La La”-ing loses its charm after the umpteenth rendition of “Feliz Navidad “or the truly horrible “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” with its mind invading chorus. John, George and Paul, what were you thinking back in the 80’s?

Now in case my “bah, humbug” attitude is off -putting to those holiday music lovers who wake up singing “Winter Wonderland” with their first cup of coffee, my friend Google and I did a little research. I’ve discovered some fun random (i.e., arcane and esoteric) facts about Christmas carols which may help us endure the next week gracefully and even appreciate the long history of Christmas caroling.

For example, did you know… ?

…. that the word “carol” comes from Latin carula, a circle dance. A carol is literally a dance or song of joy and praise. Think “Joy to the World” and “Hark, the Herald Angels” singing Glo-o-o-o-o-o-ria! In excelsis Deo!
… that the first carol of record was from the 4th century. In Latin, of course.
… that the French word Noël (as in “The First Noel”) means Christmas. Ah, that’s what the angels were saying to certain poor shepherds.
…that originally carols were not sung in church but were community sing-a-longs for religious celebrations, not just Christmas. Well, In a medieval manner of speaking. They were not incorporated into church services until the second half of the 19th century when Christmas song books became popular.
… that Francis of Assisi, saint and friend of animals, made traditional Latin songs more popular in native languages, like French, Italian and German.
… that Martin Luther wrote the words to a Reformation carol in 1534 which used a secular melody for the first time. Vom Himmel hoch, da komm Ich her. (From heaven above to earth I come.) I remember my family singing this at Christmas but never heard it in church. Too “Lutheran”, perhaps?
… that the third most popular single song of all time is Bing Crosby’s version of “Silent Night. “ Number One is “White Christmas” also by Crosby. And Number Two? Elton John’s “Candle In the Wind” which is not a carol at all.
…that one of my favorite carols “O Holy Night” was written in 1847 in French as Cantique de Noel by a M. Cappeau who then asked a Jewish friend Adolphe Charles Adam to set it to music. France prohibited the song because Cappeau abandoned the church for socialism and because the music was written by a Jew. Nevertheless, the carol survived in France, made its way to America and the abolition movement. It lives on in history and still fills me with awe, falling on my knees to worship and remember Christ’s birth 2,000 years ago one holy night.
… that in 1818, in a small town in Oberndorf, Austria, a young priest named Joseph Mohr had written lyrics for a Christmas service. Needing a melody for the words, he asked the church organist Franz Gruber to compose a melody and Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht (Silent Night) was born. It is the singular carol which symbolizes for me the beauty, mystery, stillness and peace which is truly the Christmas Incarnation. Christ, der Retter is da. I can’t help but sing the words in German, the way I learned them long ago. Christ, the Savior is born. Christ, the Savior is born.

And there were shepherds residing in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks by night. Luke 2:8

Advent is a season of seeming paradoxes of both waiting and watching.

Christians await the birth of the Savior in just a few more weeks, hopefully with joyful expectancy. When we are very young the waiting for Christmas Day, for Santa and presents seems endless. The house is decorated , baking is baked, shopping goes on and on and adults become more and more preoccupied with all the preparations. Children observe and watch all the preparations as for an especially secret time. I think the irrepressible excitement of children is due to this one fact: while waiting for Christmas to come, they watch everything and everyone around them and it multiplies their anticipation and delight.

Adults have lost the wonder of watching while waiting during Advent. December is “us” as busy as elves in Santa’s workshop, frantically scrambling to get everything ready for the Big Trip, trying to over stuff each day like sleighs, as full as possible. Like the frenzied Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, Advent’s commercial slogan has become, “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.” God’s Word says “to be still and know that He is God.” God is never late, especially for the birth of His Son. And what is one to do while “being still?” While waiting? It is to watch.

In the Christmas story as told by Luke, in the fields near Bethlehem shepherds kept watch over their flock at night. The Greek word for watch in this verse means to “watch over or to guard. “ A different word grēgoreúō means to stay awake. (It is the word Jesus used to admonish his closest disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane before His arrest. Watch and stay awake. ) Shepherds had to stay vigilant to protect sheep against attacks by night predators. They remained alert to danger and peril both to themselves and to their flock. One particular night, how greatly was the shepherds’ vigilance rewarded! Instead of spotting wolves slinking around, they saw

… an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. Luke 2:9

These ordinary shepherds were not doing anything special. They were simply waiting out the long night and keeping watch over what was entrusted to them. Amazingly, they were the first to see the Christ, the Hope if Israel, They were the first to find Isaiah’s prophecy of a child born to a virgin fulfilled. They were the first Israelites to see God’s glory in the heavens and the Gospel in a manger. They were the first evangelists to proclaim the good news told them by the Angel of the Lord.

Today in the City of David a Savior has been born to you. He is Christ the Lord! Luke 2:11

Had they been asleep, unguarded, or irresponsible in their duties, they would have missed the glorious miracle of God’s timing. It’s an Advent lesson. Watching is active not passive. One has to be engaged with body and mind, with eyes and ears so that the wolves can’t come into the sheepfold. God will appear. Will we be waiting and watching for what God has for us this coming Christmas or will we be too exhausted, sleepy and distracted when the time of miracles takes place? As we await Him, may Holy Spirit keep us fully awake, vigilant and ready for what is already coming.

O come, O come, Immanuel,
and ransom captive Israel
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Immanuel
shall come to you, O Israel.

Sunday began this year’s Advent season which traditionally includes the four weeks before Christmas. The word advent comes from Latin and means “coming.” Advent is the time when Christians around the world await the coming of Jesus’ birth.

Growing up in a German family, I was always excited when Advent came around for Christmas was truly the most wonderful time of the year. On December 1st my brothers and I received an Advent calendar to count down the 24 days. Those old calendars didn’t have chocolates tucked behind doors but hid pictures from Luke’s Christmas story. The best reward was finally opening the manger scene on the 24th which was well hidden among glittery angels, shepherds and wise men.

My mother usually had an evergreen wreath decorated with red ribbons for the dining room table with five candles on it, four purple ones for each Sunday and a white one to symbolize the birth of Jesulein, the Christ Child. Each Sunday one of the candles was lighted until finally on Christmas Day, all five burned. The smell of pines and evergreens still evokes those childhood memories. We went to church on the four Advent Sundays and listened to rich traditional hymns which rose in my heart. Singing “O come, O come, Emmanuel”, I sensed wonder and mystery. There was excitement in Advent’s waiting, an expectancy of something grand “coming.” Much later I learned this song was Israel’s lament, a cry to God for Messiah to come rescue them in their lonely exile. Theirs was a long, lonely time of waiting.

As Advent moves toward Christmas, I have to ask. Where has child like wonder gone? What happened to the expectant, mysterious Advent waiting which once was an integral part of Christmas? Why is there not exaltation that Immanuel, God with us, is already here. Messiah came not only to Israel but to His “believing people, “ who are called by His Name. Christians, what is there not to shout about? Shouldn’t we at least ask ourselves, what exactly are we waiting for during this time?

Advent reminds me that the four weeks before Christmas are not meant to be a frenzy of gift shopping and raised blood pressure. We can’t buy love, generosity or hope at the mall or on-line but it’s getting extremely difficult to await God’s Spirit in the clamorous bazaar of cultural hawkers.

We’ve already received the greatest gift: the Gift of Christ and the gracious Father who sent the Gift. May Advent be time to ponder gratefully with quiet amazement what God gave of Himself, His Son born into the muck and mire of a fallen, lost world. We don’t have to wait in the darkness like ancient Israel did. The Son of God appeared as promised, but not as the king which Israel expected. Immanuel, the hope of Israel, came when Jesus was born to a poor virgin in an animal stall, laid in a trough meant to feed ox and sheep.

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:4-5

John revealed that Jesus’ life in its humblest beginning was the glorious light of mankind. It overpowers every evil of loneliness, exile, captivity and mourning. The longing for Immanuel in Advent has been fulfilled. The Lord is near. More glorious still, Jesus, our Immanuel, will never leave nor forsake us through the Holy Spirit. Rejoice! Rejoice!

… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

I recently went to a poetry writing retreat. It’s been years since I went to a workshop and I was very excited to have an entire weekend with nothing to do but write. I’ve misplaced the poetic part of myself – and here was the perfect opportunity to find it. Additionally, the retreat was at the Benedictine Monastery in Cottonwoood, one of the prettiest places on the Palouse. For almost three days, I could watch the rising sun burst over the prairie sky, take long walks on the hillsides where deer browse and find some peace which is sorely missing right now. And of course write, write, write. Hopefully, something more than doggerel would emerge.

And so I went. I packed my journals, a new yellow legal pad and my favorite pen, along with my computer, just in case. I also took my hefty Bible and, naturally my I-phone which has attached itself to my life. Driving to Cottonwood, I could feel the poet starting to wake up!

Our retreat consisted of ten women, average age of 65. The first session began on Friday evening. The teacher was an engaging young man of thirty who exuded passion about all things poetry. The back table was filled with books of poetry and books about poetry. He gave us permission to browse. I recognized only half the writers. “Jordan” introduced the workshop with quotes about poetry, history of and explanation of what is/isn’t poetry. Well, OK, I thought. This is just a warm up. Then came another 30 minutes of poetry basics which I used to teach in high school English and literature classes. By 8:30 the direction had turned to “spirituality expressions and poetry.” Uh, oh. Something was amiss here. This sounded like “Poetry Appreciation 101” with some esoteric soul searching thrown in. I wanted “Poetry Writing 300.” Or more. Where was that retreat flyer anyway?

I had definitely misread it. In my excitement to sign up, I didn’t see the subtitle “Poetry as a Spiritual Journey” or at least didn’t quite get the intent. On Saturday, there were four more two hour sessions. Each began and ended by us joining him in a circle. A little Tibetan gong rang to change activities. There was meditation and breathing and relaxation and centering ourselves. We stayed in the present, awaiting the muse. There were more short lectures interspersed with writing exercises. We wrote several 17 syllable haiku. I wrote collaboratively with others. (Never mind how that one worked for me.) I attempted to write on six squares of folded paper and shape that mess into a six line poem. There were post cards and crayons to play with . All in all I was so busy in the class sessions, I didn’t have time to write anything on my own. My yellow legal pad is untouched. I didn’t unpack the computer and never made it up the hillside.

To be honest I was annoyed. Poetry writing is very spiritual for me. As the Holy Spirit breathes into my heart and mind, poetic images and phrases often come. However, recent personal events have been a very heavy burden and I simply could not relate to the spiritual fol de rol. The last thing I wanted was to “be in the present moment” when my present situation is the problem. It’s hard to “center” and relax when the enemy is trying to knock the tar out of you. I’d come to write poetry because when I write, somehow the Lord shows up and sets my heart free. When I am broken, I need Jesus to comfort me, not gongs, visualization or yoga breaths.

It was not Jordan’s fault nor the retreat organizers. My expectations were wrong and the disappointment mine alone. No one knew the weight on my heart.

By Saturday night I was done playing. Instead I went to my room, shut the door and sought the Father. Suddenly, I remembered a song by Stephen Curtis Chapman: “Be still and know that He is God.” It was on You Tube, so I plugged in ear phones and listened and listened until the dark weight slowly lifted. The healing tears flowed for God is holy, faithful and Father. My part is to be still and allow God to be God. Holy Spirit, the Comforter did come, reminding me of a second song, “Blessed Assurance.” The simple poetry soars.

Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine.
Heir of salvation, purchased by God,
Born of the spirit, washed by His blood.

This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Sunday morning I rejoined the last session and it was OK. Some of Jordan’s techniques looked doable so I’ll try them out. I didn’t write much but I left much calmer and richer. “This is my story, this is my song.” Jesus is my blessed assurance of salvation and eternal life and because of Him, I hold on to hope for all those I love who are afar off. God purchased my life through Jesus on the cross and my life includes hope for my children and their children. It is a promise. God’s Word from Genesis to Revelation is both prose and poetry. I trust He will complete the lyrics and the melody of His Promises.

Often my life is a story; sometimes it is a song. When it is dull prose which seems to have no clear narrative or purpose, (something like “Chronicles”), suddenly, poetry breaks through and everything changes, like a sky full of rainbows. Like the “Song of Songs.” The poetry will come back. Now, where are those postcards?

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father…John 17:1
In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit and said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that… Luke 10:21
…Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me, but I say this for the benefit of the people standing here, so they may believe that You sent Me.” John 11:41-43

Today is Thanksgiving Day. We gather with family and friends to celebrate our bounty, our family and our many blessings. But Thanksgiving is also about remembering our forefather Pilgrims who were men and women of great faith. The very first Thanksgiving was a day to praise, thank and honor God who had saved them from starvation. The historical details of what the Pilgrims endured is lost in much sentimental fiction. There can be no question but that these stalwart Puritans must have prayed long and hard, perhaps for hours – before sitting down to eat. Their Thanksgiving wasn’t one gargantuan meal with a few obligatory thank you’s thrown in, but an entire day of prayer. Dependent on God for that miracle of food which sustained them, they acknowledged first the miracle Maker.

Today as we sit down to eat, it is often customary to share what we’re grateful for. “I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for living in such a beautiful place. I am thankful for not having to eat parched corn and toughened wild birds. I am thankful for …” The list is long and personal because as Americans we are so fortunate. As believers, we walk in God’s grace and mercies and blessing. It’s hard to pick out only one or two things because there is much to be thankful for. But here’s the thing. Most often gratitude is for something, for a gift of what. Our language and words betray us. We’ve forgotten the Pilgrims’ Thanksgiving Day.

Jesus prayed a lot. He prayed in front of others, in the throng of the multitudes and He prayed when He was alone on the mountain in the long hours of the night. He prayed in the Garden before His crucifixion. He prayed before His greatest miracles. He prayed for the disciples. His prayers and His daily life were inseparable so that the disciples wanted Jesus to teach them how to pray. He began this way: Our Father…

When Jesus prayed His eyes were on the Father. He often lifted His head and looked toward heaven. His mind was open to the Father’s will. His ears listened to the Father’s voice. His heart beat with love and gratitude to the Father, not for things or personal blessings but for God’s will to be done and for Him to be glorified. Jesus’ prayers were constant thank you’s born of relationship: God the Father, Jesus the Beloved and only Son. Jesus prayed out of joy because He knew that the Father heard Him. I read those lines in John 11 where Jesus says,

“Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me, …”

… and I am stunned by this personal revelation. What greater reason is there for thanksgiving? The Father of our Lord Jesus always hears Him and because of Jesus God hears our prayers as well!

Today as gratitude stirs in our hearts , lift up eyes to heaven remembering Jesus and the gift of His salvation and then thank the One whom Jesus constantly thanked. May today’s Thanksgiving prayer joyfully begin with “Father…”