From The Sheep Pen

…the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. “1.John 2:8

January has never been my favorite month. The cold, snowy weather is  delightful for  those who  come to the mountains to recreate. Our family  often came  from Boise  to spend  weekends  in our little cabin on Warren Wagon Road and  ski at Brundage.  But those years are  in the past as Dan and I no longer ski and don’t tolerate the  cold as well.  Now January is here again,   the snowslide from the roof has buried access to the front door, we have to wait for the driveway to be plowed, the fireplace eats wood like Christmas cookies and the “ice trax”  for my boots are close at hand so that I can walk the dog without falling on the ice. It is breathtakingly beautiful here in the winter, but January reminds me how interminably  long winter  will last.

January also brings the “post holidays” blahs. Christmas  festivities are over,   our children and grandchildren have  come and gone,  leaving their  bittersweet touch because we just don’t know when we’ll see them again. I am restless in January because now there’s the tedium of undecorating the house, taking down the tree, packing away the Christmas treasures until next year, locating where all my dishes and utensils are and cleaning house after two teenagers,  six adults and four dogs have been with us. I just don’t feel like tackling any of it.  Besides in my German tradition, the holidays lasted till the Epiphany  two days away.   Besides, what’s the rush? January is also one of the longest months. I can stay snowed in and scoop dead pine needles  back under the tree for  several weeks!

In three January days the controversial fight for the presidency will  finally be decided,  but  few of us find solace in what looks like  the decided outcome. Many believing  Christians  are understandably nervous.  January’s confirmation will usher in the most peculiar presidency I’ve ever seen. It will surely heighten the cultural, political and ideological transformations of  2020 which threaten  faith and values we hold dear.

My malaise and trepidations  (and that of others) is very real, but I think it’s because we forgot far too quickly the miracle of Christmas. Just ten days ago we celebrated Jesus’ Incarnation into a world every bit as dark, dangerous and fallen as the present one.  He was the Light that came into the world and His light is the life of men. Is He not still, always and forever the Light and the Life, the one who is our peace, joy, hope and  love  this January?  How can one celebrate God’s greatest gift to mankind  on December 25 and then forget to dwell with Him  in the same peace , hope, joy and love as soon as the calendar pages turn?

January is named for the Roman god Janus, whose  image looks both backwards and forwards in time and was tacked to the doors of Roman homes.  Perhaps we’ve unwittingly  invited that  same pagan idol into the doorways of life,   “ringing out the old and ringing in the new year”, as if  double faced perception  is anything but  severely blinded and useless to protect us.  

 We move  far too quickly from the divine mystery  of the Incarnation  into the darkness of time, back to just another new year, another calendar to mark, to January resolutions we can’t possibly keep  and heart sick  worries about a  future which only God controls. The glory  of Bethlehem dissolves in our fickle hearts faster than snow in rain, its  majesty more  like sputtering  candles than hearts afire with  the Holy Spirit as were the heavens at Jesus’ birth.  Why then be surprised at January’s doldrums! The only hope for 2021 is our singular  Gospel witness which comes solely from Christ our Emmanuel, God with us ,  He Who is indescribable peace, joy unspeakable , hope eternal, and love incomprehensible.

This January I stand convicted.

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and give thanks.Psalm 118:24

I am most anxious to celebrate Thanksgiving this year with our daughter Laura, son-in-law  Dean and a few close neighborhood friends.  In a short while, we will gather at the table  I’ve set with some of my treasured china, silverware and crystal. Out of respect for one another, we’ll observe healthy protocols,  but  then  “Covid 19”  is commanded to be silent.  It’s not invited to sit down with us. Today is a special day of remembering  our history, of getting down on our knees to humbly acknowledge all the Lord’s benefits. Today is a day to celebrate life. L’chaim.

I have so much to be thankful for. God has blessed Dan and me and our family beyond my wildest dreams for each day is a precious gift. Every morning I’m astonished  what blessings flow from the secret place of the Most High. Often His gifts are material. We’re among the fortunate ones who live better, safer, more healthy, less ill and destitute, less fearfully, more free  than 99% of the world. But God’s spiritual blessings are infinite and without measure, like endless rain which falls into the ocean. I’ve learned to open my mouth wide for every drop that falls, even those bitter on the tongue.

As we Americans say grace,  families often share the one thing they are thankful for:  families, friends, loved ones who have passed on, freedoms, health, finances and prosperity. We might remember a  special, compassionate  person who brought  light into our former darkness or those who wisely mentor us.  As Christians we think of eternal salvation. Or the Bible.  Or being reborn into the Body of Christ.  We thank God our Father, Jesus  our Lord and Savior  or the Holy Spirit our Counselor and Comforter.

One day when I stand face to face before God, having shed this hank of skin and bones, I will be dumbstruck, naked before the One who “causes me to tremble. ” What will my Father say to me? What will I be asked? I believe He may say something like this. “ Elfriede, (using my given name !)  I gifted you with much. ” God pauses a moment searching me.   “What are you most most grateful for?”  A video  of  my life plays in the blink of an eye and I see every joyful, sorrowful,  sinful and redeemed  moment flash by.  I see all I’ve received from His hand, an endless outpouring of loving kindness flowing from His own heart. It is not about the gifts at all, but solely about the glorified Giver. The answer is clear before me.

“It’s You, Lord,”  I will answer. “Thank you. It’s You.”

We had an unexpected power failure last night. Dan and I were just about ready to sit down to dinner when the lights blipped  off and then on,  once, twice and then a  third time.  From past experience we knew this outage would last for hours which it did. Dan found several flashlights, lit the oil lamp while I located a few candles left over from  holidays. We ate our dinner in soft candle glow which gave sufficient light for both food and doing dishes. Afterwards we played a few hands of cards, squinting to make out the red or black markings on the face cards.  It was harder to focus in the semi darkness – and with ageing eyes – so  after  two hands we quit. Now what? It was barely past seven. Dan read his latest biographical tome (this one on Mao) by slipping a biking headlight over his cowboy hat. That picture was really worth a thousand words! I hunkered on the couch next to an LED lamp with my nose in a book.  However, Dan and I went to bed pretty early.

As I blew out the candles and switched off the battery powered  devices, the house fell into darkness black as pitch.  Usually I can see well enough during the night hours from all the ambient light coming from electronics or from the neighbors or with lingering light in the sky. Last night there was none of that. The moon and stars were  obscured  by clouds, no neighboring porches were lit and our house had unbroken darkness . It felt very odd not to see my fingers right in front of my face. Odd, disorienting and disconcerting. Once in Carlsbad Caverns, I had a similar experience when the guide  briefly switched off the cave’s light while we were thousands of feet below the ground. The sudden momentary darkness was different, like an atmosphere that had dimension. It wouldn’t  take long to get lost in it.

We moderns, especially in Western countries , do not have to face prolonged darkness very often. I knew Idaho Power’s linemen were out in the cold fixing the problem. I trusted that the house lights would return and I could  safely go to sleep next to Dan. I didn’t have to peer into the darkness groping my way for very long. But what if we did?  

What if we could truly see into this atmospheric “otherdarkness” which grows daily and envelopes us like a shroud? I’m not speaking of God’s natural darkness which falls blessedly on the earth every 24 hours, but of  spiritual darkness.  Jesus often warned of this darkness;

Then watch out that the light in you is not darkness.

What would our eyes see but sin in the form of human fear, violence, blood lust, hatred, perversity, rebellion  and every evil man is capable of growing in tsunami proportions. Might we have eyes to discern the spiritual forces, the principalities and powers of the air who rule there?

I believe if we could see what lurks outside of Christ’s light, mortal  terror would stop our hearts and we’d finally get down on our stubborn knees and call out to  God whom we’ve blasphemed and ask for Jesus whose saving Light has been spurned. Some believe it is already too late. The “end of the age”  seems to be accelerating at warp speed. Can any rational citizen look at this year of 2020 and not be aware that things are very, very upside down and not ask, how did this happen?

It happens because man’s unredeemed heart without Christ’s light is sinful and evil. It happens because we’ve abandoned the basics: the Ten Commandments and  Two Great Commandments and are perverting  Christ’s teachings. It happens because we’ve turned off the only power source of life, God our Father. We have blasphemed the Holy Spirit. It’s happening because men still prefer the darkness to the light, even as John wrote in his Gospel. It happens because we do not recognize that Satan, the Prince of Darkness, detests the children of God who are to be children of light. It happens because believers are complacent, accepting “temporary” power outages instead of going out to be the Lord’s linemen. It happens because like moles, we don’t even know  that when we come out of  the burrows  we inhabit, we’ve become blind. .

Nevertheless, I am hopeful because God  has given us Christ who sustains us.

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” John 8:12

 I am hopeful that God hears the prayers of His faithful and that He hasn’t  taken away His lovingkindness toward us.

Light arises in the darkness for the upright; He is gracious and compassionate and righteous. Psalm 112:4

For the sake of family and loved ones, I remain  hopeful that last night’s  experience during a natural power glitch is no yet sign of much worse to come.

The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity; I am the Lord who does all these. Isaiah 45:7

Hope rises when we look not into the heart of darkness, but unto Jesus.  We’re commanded  to share the Gospel of salvation to the lost, the broken,  to the impoverished and powerless. We are Christ’s disciples and  His linemen, responding  to the darkness, to people disconnected from  the Lord, the  only power source. We share the Gospel not to “fix” anyone  but to reveal God’s  power and glory in Christ.

For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2.Cointhians 4:6

When You send Your Spirit, they are created, and You renew the face of the earth. Psalm 104:30

The Clark’s jays are back again this morning flitting through the trees,  pecking through the fresh snow for their breakfast. They have been coming for several weeks in larger than normal flocks. Stellar jays  add   noisy blue color to the flocks. My husband said they’re feeding on small white moths that have hatched and landed in the driveway gravel. I thought it was pine debris blown by the wind ands floating in the air,  but evidently the jays have found  a bountiful food source.

I watched them from our back window which faces a hillside covered in scrubby bushes, tall, skinny trees and bare earth. It hardly seemed setting for a bird smorgasbord but there were so many birds they swathed the ground. “How do they know”, I wondered, “to come to our property  at this time and where there is  abundant food?”  How do lesser creatures know the  times and seasons for their food supplies? How do they  communicate the location to each other?  I thought of  Jesus’ teaching in Matthew, how the Father provides  for His creatures.

…Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

 In the magnificent  Psalm 104, the psalmist describes God  who not only created all things  in the heavens,  earth and sea, but  praises His tender care for that creation. He writes that creaturely dependence for sustenance is on God alone. All creatures look to You to give them their food in due season. Psalm 104:27

That biblical promise is a recurring theme in both Old and New Testament.

For by these He judges the nations and provides food in abundance. Job 36:31

He gives food to every creature. His loving devotion endures forever. Psalm 136: 25

When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. Psalm 104:27

These are covenantal, not natural promises.  The writers never fail to acknowledge it is God’s  chesed  or loving kindness and mercy which provides for those with whom He stands as Lord.

 Jesus stands as Lord and Savior for all who call on His Name. His Word that the Father will provide  resounds across the centuries. In these very dark and troubling times, who among us does not worry about tomorrow’s uncertainties.  If not about whether we’ll  have enough to eat – though that may some day come – then we worry about our future security.  If not about what we wear – because our closets are crammed – then  we fret about our comfort or the blessings which are becoming  quickly endangered.  

Our critical spiritual sustenance is the Word of God. We’re to clothe ourselves in Christ’s righteousness, not in the rags of world..  No matter what’s going on around us, Jesus promises the provision of the Father which He has fulfilled.   Therefore, do not fear for what you need today or tomorrow. Look at the birds of the air who visit you. The jays are fed by the Lord. Are you not more valuable than they?

Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. Matthew 14:25

I’ve been waking up again during the night between 2:00 and 4:00. It happens more often than not. Something wakes me up around three a.m. and thereafter, unwanted thoughts start churning.  I’m unable to get back to sleep.  Too often  the rest of the night is spent  rumpling the bed sheets and sneaking looks at the nearest clock.   Sound familiar? It seems to be a pattern for many people. During one strange season of my life, I woke up at  1:11. 2:22. 3:33. 4:44 and 5:55 on successive nights and at one of those exact times for weeks.   Talk about weird!  Some believe that physiological changes in our bodies cause us to wake up during the darkest  hours of the night.  Others believe the hours are  strategic “thin times” when spiritual activity heightens and intrudes into the physical realm. 

Time was not precise in the ancient world.  Hours were roughly reckoned by the position of the sun (day) and stars (night). Though sundials were  used – but  obviously useless at night – clocks were unknown.  The idea of actually dividing time down to the second is a modern construct.  If the ancients were rather muddy about time,  they were blessedly freed from its  tyranny as we moderns are not.  During the night  the Jews  had three  “watches or vigils,   that is the time period for sentinels, the watchmen,  to be on active duty. Under the Romans, the empire  was governed by four military watches and  four hour shifts: even (6-9 p.m.); midnight (9-12 midnight);  cock’s crow (12-3 a.m.) and morning (3-6 a.m.)

In the Bible the night watches are often  times of powerful supernatural activity, both divine and demonic.  In the Old Testament,  Jacob wrestled with a divine being until daybreak. (Genesis 32:24). God struck Egypt’s first born at midnight (Exodus 12:29) and He “called for Moses and Aaron by night” to rouse the Jews to flee. (v.31)  David play music when the distressing spirit was upon Saul in what probably was night time.  In the New Testament, Jesus spent many night watches alone in prayer both before and after some of his greatest miracles.

Such is Matthew 14:25.  During the Fourth Watch of the night  Jesus, having prayed most of the night,  sees his disciple struggling for hours in a fierce storm and  defying all natural laws of the universe, He  walks out on the water toward them.  (How interesting that the Lord was praying all the while the  disciples were battling  the storm and sea.) The disciples are  terrified more of this Jesus than of the raging sea. Matthew gives a glimpse into  Jesus’ transcendent, terrifying, glorious  authority over creation, the Lord over many waters.  He is on the sea but not of the sea. 

Using the narrative of the Four Gospels , Jim Bishop,  a journalist,  wrote “The Day Christ Died” where he described the last 24 hours of Jesus’ life, hour by hour.  The book is  a fascinating portrayal of Christ’s last earthly hours. I highly recommend it if only for the detailed historical, political  and religious  background.    As one reads from “cock’s crow” to “morning” and into the daytime,  the level of  satanic activity against Christ increases  dramatically  even as Jesus  submits Himself  to  the Father’s will.  He suffers in the garden, asks the disciples to “watch and pray” for one single hour with Him, is betrayed  with a kiss by Judas  and begins the long hours of being  dragged from the temple to the Antonia fortress to Pilate, to be abused, vilified, tortured. And  utterly alone. Who can forget that Jesus prophesied Peter would deny Him three  times before  “cock’s crow”, the third watch – and Peter’s wretchedness when it was fulfilled? By morning , Jesus  was  already weakened but further trials ( all of them illegal),  scourging, condemnation and the cross  were still ahead of Him.   In darkness Satan  tried to claim a victory over Christ and failed miserably. The story doesn’t end in the blackness of a tomb, but in the glorious light of the Resurrection and Christ’s promised Second Coming.

Are we even now in the Third or Fourth Watch?  Good question with no definitive answer. We do know that Jesus warned repeatedly to “watch and pray.”  

Therefore if you will not watch, I will come upon you as a thief, and you will not know what hour I will come upon you. Revelation 3:2-3

Watching and praying are two sides of the same coin. Watch and be vigilant for the time is short. No one knows the day or the hour when Jesus will appear. Stay awake and alert to the signs around us.  Pray that we’re not led into temptation, lies and deceit.  The next time we are awakened  during the “thin times” of the night, it just might be Holy Spirit’s alarm clock telling us to pray just as Christ did.

… Jesus went to them walking on the sea. Mathew 14:25

In  Matthew’s account of Jesus walking  on the sea, the emphasis seems to be on Peter who wants to go to Jesus on the water, but sinks into the waves. Jesus saves Peter but rebukes him for lacking faith. It seems curious that the Gospel writer includes two separate incidents of a storm on the Sea of Galilee threatening the disciples. Since nothing in the Bible is contradictory or superfluous through  the Holy Spirits’ inspiration and guidance, there must be more to the story.

The Lord had had another exhausting day with the multitude who followed Him from the cities. They were tired and so was He, but nevertheless,

He was moved with compassion for them and healed their sick.

 Taking great pity on the gathered crowd, Jesus then performed one of his greatest miracles, feeding  the  five thousand men, (not counting their wives and children) with five loaves of bread and  two fish. When all the people were  filled, 12 baskets were left  over. By nighttime Jesus was exhausted. He commanded the disciples to go before Him to the other side of the sea. He spent the rest of the night in prayer – until the fourth watch, which is around 3:00  a.m.

Meanwhile, the disciples were struggling to get across the Sea of Galilee. Because of an unforeseen storm which tossed their boats with contrary winds, they’d only gone about half way across the sea, just a few miles.  Despite their expertise as fishermen and experience on  the sea, they were in peril. So far the story has many similarities to Matthew 8:23-27, except in this incident Jesus is not asleep in the boat.  Jesus goes out to them,  walking on the water.

The  scene  is not how it’s often portrayed by artists –  Jesus  walks on shallow waves, the water like blue glass, His feet barely skimming the surface. He is almost removed from the brute physicality of it.  The reality, according to Matthew is that there was a violent storm going on, like a tsunami being birthed. The waves were cresting, frothing and falling several feet high over the boat. As the wind howled, the water rushed over the gunwales of the boat, soaking and swamping seaworthy men who were terrified. Disaster movies such as “The Perfect Storm”,  “The Finest Hour” and “The Guardian” give insights into what   this Galilean storm might have been like. There’s a harrowing scene in “The Guardian” where one of the rescue swimmers  hangs from a helicopter line over  raging waters, trying to locate a person in the darkness below. The only light is from the helicopter’s moving spotlights. Sky and water are pitch black.  The waters swallow up the night. Suddenly, the rescue swimmer lets go and drops into open water as if into the  maw of an angry beast and begins his rescue.

 It is on such a sea that Jesus walked out to the disciples. There’s nothing placid or serene  in the text.  As they saw Him approach He must have risen high with the waves and then fallen from sight into the churning troughs – only to reappear in the next swell.  Fearfully, they believed He was a ghost. Who was this man Jesus?  This Jesus came to them after an intense night of prayer with the Father. This Jesus is  the Lord of the Sea walking  toward them, untouched by  elements.  He is mystery, divine  power and authority. They were catching a glimpse of the Jesus of Revelation.  However, this Jesus is also the Son of God who  identifies Himself to his  frightened friends out of compassion.   “Be of good cheer. It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

We know the rest of the story,  how Peter  went out of the boat to Jesus but sank when he saw the waves. We shouldn’t  be too  hard on impetuous  Peter. After all, he stepped into the watery maelstrom, toward the One he loved with all his heart, onto huge waves that crested and fell and pulled him downward into the depths. That took great courage. It must have been pitch dark at that 4^th watch hour with no light on the water. When he saw the wind was too strong and that he lost sight of the Lord, his human courage failed him.  Scripture says that Jesus stretched out His hand and caught Peter.  Psalm 18 declares of God:  

He reached from on high and took hold of me; He took me out of deep waters.

The stormy waters of 2020 have been  some of the worst in my lifetime. This years’ waves and winds are named: pandemics, lockdowns, political chaos, violence, persecution, government over reaches, reopening schools or not, uncertainty of the future after the election, etc., etc.  The list grows crazier every day.  They’ve caused  fear, anxiety and  turbulent emotions in even the bravest, most  faithful Christian hearts. One moment  we ride the crests and see the face of Christ; the next we get sucked downward, as Peter did, can’t seem to find Him anywhere and panic. Save me, Lord!  But, Hallelujah! We serve a God who always hears us no matter how weakly  we whisper prayers for  help. For Psalm 18 continues,

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from foes too mighty for me.…17

There was no storm powerful enough to stop Jesus from walking out to his disciples. So too, He still comes to rescue us from every foe. If I could paint Matthew 14: 26-32, it would not be an idealized Biblical seascape at all but one which captures this incident’s harrowing intensity. If I were an artist, I’d depict Jesus as Lord of the Seas, almighty yet tender, omnipresent but as close as a rescue swimmer; omniscient yet always understanding our frailty. If I could, I’d portray Him as the shining Light of John’s Gospel and would not fear.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. John 1:5

‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3’

The last two weeks have abruptly shown  that life is very fragile. It should be stamped in red letters:  “Handle with Extreme Care.” One day you go along as always blissfully unaware of the road dropping precipitously just ahead of you. Nothing will really be the same from then on. Recently it happened twice to us.

 Last week I was thinking of nothing more than the joy of finally visiting with our children and grandchildren in Couer D’Alene  and ignored the fact that I wasn’t feeling quite right. I was just “off the mark a little,” I thought.   Several hours later, my vision doubled, I couldn’t walk straight and kept dropping things, unable to pick them up. In short, I had a mini stroke or TIA. I thank God that it was minor with no side effects, that He kept me safe and must have had a fire ring of angels around Dan and me. But with a history of past stroke and probable other TIA’s,  this is a wake up call for sure – pay attention.  Make necessary changes. Life is extremely  fragile.

Additionally, our daughter  requires serious surgery.  When the doctor mentioned the  possibility of the dreaded “C” word, my heart almost stopped. That’s what fear does – it bypasses reason and creates an emotional quicksand of “what if’’s? I read once about the “tyranny of the moment”, those unholy thoughts and fears which consume our souls to steal our peace and hope.   Medical issues by their nature are powerful tyrants – (think of  the coronavirus’ tenacious grip on people’s minds ) – because we’re no longer in control of our own bodies and have to entrust ourselves to doctors most of whom are strangers.  

I am so grateful to live in a country where we can have access to the best medical services, physicians and diagnostic information available. I am grateful that today’s medicine is far more effective  from even 25 years ago when a stroke, heart attack or cancer were  practically death warrants. How can I not thank  our Father for the life He gives to me  and to my loved ones each morning?  I’m grateful that physicians  who at one time promised “to do no harm” are still called to the highest standards of care.

Nevertheless, I must admit to frustrations:  waiting to see a doctor,  waiting for schedulers to set time and dates,  waiting to hear back when a phone call is missed, waiting for results. It’s a given I am not very good at this waiting which doesn’t seem of the Lord but more like  slow cogs in gargantuan  medical systems. The enemy knows exactly where to attack by making me  frustrated, fearful and anxious, especially about those I love.

My wake up call is to be responsible for making healthy changes. But more than that it’s acknowledging, believing, and practicing that Jesus is the Primary Physician who “by His stripes heals us.” He alone has all authority over every aspect of my life as it continues to change. The Father’s will in life, sickness and death will always be for good and not evil. When the world turns upside down, we have immediate access to the Father who loves us. He is  closer than skin and bone.  He knows our very  frightened thoughts before we can utter them and sends the Holy Spirit, Comforter to help us in weak moments.  How often  Jesus promised never to leave us nor forsake us and that in Him we will find healing and peace of mind, no matter what a medical diagnosis claims. 

The Father of Jesus never puts us on hold (with cheesy background music to distract us),  never has to check His too busy schedule or send us first to an assistant. He always has time for His beloved children.  We don’t ever  have to make a weeks out appointment to speak with the Father. His Word  says   to call out to Him wherever and however we are. His promise is to hear our prayers and answer. Thus, when bad news comes, where should we turn to first and foremost? To human doctors or to the Lord?  There is a  choice but reliance on   medicine alone can easily become our “tyranny of the moments”. Rather go first to God in prayer, empowered by His faithful  promises . As the psalmist says,

I will lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Make of heaven and earth. Psalm 121

Therein is Christian hope and witness. While doctors are meant to treat illness,  manage the process and   attempt cures, they don’t have the power to actually heal. That belongs to the One in whom we are reborn, Jesus , Life Source and Healer.

September Celebration

It’s late afternoon in mid September. The afternoon sun slants obliquely like lattice work over the driveway. A slight breeze riffles through the half dozen small aspens which have volunteered alongside. Their leaves flutter and twirl, a dance of light and air within the stiff  pine trees. It’s still quite warm during the day, but mornings are down right chilly until my bones  warm up.   It’s definitely now fall weather for I’ve traded out shorts for jeans and flannel shirts.

This week I remember several family birthdays: my brother Joe on the 22^nd; grandson Christopher on the 23^rd; and beautiful granddaughter Bridget on the 26^th. We don’t have a very large family, but  birthdays seem to cluster during  the months of February, May and September. February is especially crowded because both of my parents, my husband Dan, younger brother Peter and several aunts, uncles and/or cousins were born then. It was   a month to celebrate our little German tribe.

Last night at Sunday’s evening service in New Meadows, we were asked to reflect upon what the future will bring.  There are so many “what ifs” in the  question, about families,  church, country and  culture – the uncertainty of  ground shifting under our feet.   What will happen with the election? Will the pandemic end soon? Will the economy rise or fall next year?  The future we’ve always hoped and planned for doesn’t seem very promising.   As grandparents we’re rightly concerned for our grandchildren’s  lives.  We want the next generations to have the same blessings that we’ve received but realistically, who is not concerned about all the “new normals”  children (and their beleaguered parents) must live with.

Questions about the future can rattle us into a dither if we forget that the believer’s future is already secure. Jesus has given us an eternal  future which no earthly force can take away. Through faith in Jesus  our Redeemer  and in the power of the Holy Spirit who has sealed our redemption, after death we will  share  in the eternal,  divine life of  God our Father . My brother Joe’s life was cut short by cancer. His earthly future was simply not long enough for those of us who loved him and miss him.  But this week on his birthday I am celebrating  the  wonderful life he’s having with the Lord.  I know there’s a celestial birthday bash going on in heaven and that my brother sits at one of  the  grand  pianos he designed,   plunking away endless new songs  and praising God.

Joe became a Christian a few years before I did. He never proselytized his new faith, but his   joy, happiness, courage  and kindness were infectious. While I was still afar off, he lovingly gentled  me with Jesus. That love drew me to the Lord more than any sermon in church. I am thankful for his life and quiet witness even during the last dark months of  cancer.

Our children and grandchildren are not yet believers.  But I’ve faith that some day they will celebrate new birthdays, their rebirth days  in Christ.  I pray for all my  grandchildren’s future, but especially for this week’s  birthdays kids.   My prayer is very simple: Heavenly Father, draw them to Yourself. Let them know the saving grace  of Jesus.  May  Dan and I – and my brother Joe’s life – be your witnesses.

… then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea and there was a great calm. Mathew 8:26

The summer season is rapidly changing. Nightly temperatures are dropping into the forties and even frigid thirties. While they still look lovely, my flower and veggie gardens are slowing down. The hillsides are bone dry, tinged with early fall colors. A few  hummingbirds still feed from the red geraniums and  purple petunias. And of course, the deer forage everywhere, being especially partial to Dan’s babied tomato plants.

I’m not looking forward to colder weather, but truthfully summer’s not been one where “ the living is easy” in our country. I can’t bear to watch the news or listen to the talking heads – most of  whom dispense  political and cultural gloom and doom like free samples of toxic food. Despite the still beautiful  weather outside,  who has lately not felt the storms of strife and feel the winds of fear  trying to defeat us. Whether it is the ongoing pandemic or the upcoming presidential election or our personal adjustment to the so-called new normal, the air we breathe is charged, crackling with energy more powerful than lightning.  A violent storm is at hand.

Matthew 8 describes an unusually tempestuous storm on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus had spent the day ministering, healing and teaching the multitude and afterwards got into a boat with the disciples. He fell asleep, probably because He was exhausted. A storm arose, threatening to capsize the boat. It was not an ordinary storm, had contrary winds and huge waves which flooded what must have been a sizeable fishing boat. The men were experienced fishermen who surely had braved many storms, but this time they  freaked out and came to Jesus, crying out for Him to do something. “Lord, save us. We’re perishing!”  Jesus arose , rebuked them first for their lack of faith and then quieted the storm  “so that there was a great  calm”.  What an amazing story! Who is this man  whom the wind and sea obey?

Mark’s Gospel  includes a few details which Matthew does not. I found that curious  because  Mark usually wrote in a terser, less descriptive style. He adds that other little boats were alongside, that the waves beat into the boat and that Jesus was asleep in the stern on a pillow.  This small overlooked detail shows Christ doing what we all do – sleeping, trying to rest His weary head on a pillow.  It’s a touching reminder of Jesus’ humanity, that in all things He was just like us, especially exhaustion.

  I wonder what Jesus’ pillow was like?  Most likely it was  a rolled up oily tarp, stinking  of fish and stiff with salty sea water. Perhaps he folded up His own rough robe  against the boat’s gunwales. It definitely was nothing like my two soft, down filled pillows or Dan’s specially contoured ones designed for support.  We all know the ads for My Pillow and the guy who made them famous – and himself a multi millionaire in the process.  He guarantees his unique pillow (and mattress and sheets) inventions will give us  deep, restful  and restorative sleep. His pillow was definitely not Jesus’! More importantly, his promise for better sleep is not the promise of rest we need.

Mark adds that the disciples not only awoke Jesus in terror, but asked,  “Teacher, do you not care that we’re perishing?”  Oh, we of similar little faith. How often  have we felt the same, that God doesn’t see us in our storms and afflictions, in the waters threatening to wash us overboard  into the violent sea? Like terrified children we lose faith in Jesus because the bogey man is keening  like a contrary wind at the window.  We forget that Jesus  asleep on a pillow is always doing the Father’s will, knows the dangers around us and is our  perfect storm shelter.   

In another storm account, Peter  falls into the waves when he takes his eyes off the Lord and looks into the violent waves.  When storms rage , do we identify with Peter?  We want to keep  focused on  Jesus’ face,  but too often see the whitecaps below and we panic.   Mark 6 is a good reminder that in a tempest when Jesus is at rest in a flooding boat, He invites you and me to come closer, to rest our heads   next to His.  His Voice commands  every storm at sea or on the land:

…they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper, and the waves of the sea were hushed . Psalm 107:28-29.

Peace. Be still!

And: “I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”2. Corinthians 6:18

I have been thinking a lot about daughters, especially since both of ours recently visited. We’ve seen Laura more often because she lives in Boise and there is more opportunity to see each other, but Lisa is in Salt Lake City and has not been here for months due to the health concerns of coming from out of state. Dan and I miss both “girls” and their families very much and I pray daily for this family-separating virus to be banished to the farthest ends of the abyss – yesterday!

One morning as we were preparing yet another meal, I watched as both of them poked around in the kitchen, in the pantry and cabinets and refrigerator, just making themselves right at home. Laura especially likes to check out what we’ve gotten from Costco or the extras supplies stored on garage shelves; she has no qualms about hinting, very politely of course, if she can take something home. We never say No, or deny her what she might like and can’t afford. Lisa as the older sister is less obvious, but is as comfortable in our house as in Salt Lake, whether cooking, cleaning up or sitting around chatting. For all our family but especially the daughters, it is literally, Mi casa, su casa.

There is something about daughters, more than sons, always being at home in their parents’ house. I remember going back to New York for visits. No matter how many years I’ve lived elsewhere, I was “going home.” Like my girls, I knew every inch of my mother’s kitchen and where she kept all her dishes, linens, silver and glassware, clothes, books and every treasure she and my father owned. I knew the house and garden, my Dad’s cluttered workshop and basement shelves filled with odds and ends. Everything was familiar because my indulgent parents had always given me full access to what belonged to them. I respected that, never took advantage of their generosity but also knew in my heart, they wanted me – and my brothers- to have what was theirs. The unspoken permission was a privilege which we also give to all our children, but especially to my daughters. I wasn’t quite as free wheeling with my father, even though I knew he’d give me whatever I needed, if he could. Too often I didn’t ask often enough.

Jesus taught that our Father in heaven is far more generous than we are with our own children. No matter how indulgently I allow my daughters to take what is of mine, God is infinitely more accessible, generous and indulgent.
So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”Luke 11:13

Jesus promises that my heavenly Father will give me anything I ask according to His will. All the riches of heaven, all the abundance that God has for us in Christ Jesus are stored in His mansions. I’d like to think He’s waiting for me, His daughter, to rummage around his storehouses, His royal household furnishings, His special treasures, His cosmic mysteries of delight and say, “Father, can I have this? “ Yes! “ Father, You promised me … , remember in Your Word?” Yes and Yes. “Father, I could use this bottle of Holy Spirit oil, this bread of Jesus’ holy life and crown of power and authority. What do you have wrapped up on that back shelf? Father, how you spoil me with Your creative love!

I’m learning the wonders of poking around in the Father’s House, in His secret places for His good and perfect gifts. Our loving, indulgent Father already knows before we think to ask ask and He keeps saying, Yes and yes and yes… to us, His special daughters. As I journey closer homeward to the familiar, Su casa, mi casa.